Saturday, October 17, 2009

Options Split Even

What do you do when you walk down a path and you reach a point where it splits in two directions and you don't know which direction to take because neither is great and neither is worse? It probably, and actually, doesn't really matter. Just flip a coin and take a pick, right? I would think so, at least.

With out doubt, every single person in this world, has felt this way numerous amounts of times, including myself. This is THE point where my life has currently been standing.

Let me explain:

After a long summer of submitting resumes online and contacting people with possible job opportunities for me, I got nothing. I felt miserable, agonized, but most painful of all, unproductive. It truly felt as if I had reached an all-time low mark in my life. You see, for the most part, I'm the kind of person who likes to work hard and stay busy. That's how the world becomes a better place: by serving others through our chosen occupations, love and work. I wasn't doing any of this. Instead, I felt as though my brain cells were wasting away looking at a computer screen submitting resumes in human recourse data bases that were more likely never be read by an actual human being. I hated myself for not having succeeded in landing a job following college. Even after earning my way through a bachelors degree, I didn't feel proud of myself in any way, and I honestly still don't (but that's not the point). Finally after weeks of looking and searching for possible opportunities, the idea of moving to NYC to find fresh open doors popped into my head. I thought about it, prayed about it, but felt prompted to stay where I was; I remained a little more patient.

Within days, I ran into a good man who I knew from the Telemundo station I interned before in Phoenix. He was now the Spanish radio announcer for the AZ D-backs. He mentioned he was looking for an intern to help with a new, community oriented Spanish show they were getting ready to launch. I quickly found myself being interviewed and working for a crazy Middle-Eastern man who was the owner of this new show. To make a long story short, I felt the COMPLETE OPPOSITE of what the average content person would feel in regards to their new job. I realized the best move I could take was quit, and so I did. Days Later, I found myself back to square one, looking for jobs on all online career databases I could find. All I could think about was a certain comment a particular someone told me that was hurtful, but true to an extent. It was: "So you graduated college, what good is that if no one will hire you? What are you worth? Nothing! You're worth nothing. NO one will hire you. You're still dumb as a box of rocks." What do you do when you get these words splattered in your face? In my case, I cried, BUT, then I decided to prove them wrong and take action into my own hands.

I decided to reconsider my previous plans of heading out to NYC. I prayed about it, once again. This time, I felt okay about moving out in that direction. I contacted a couple sources to help me land some interviews in the Big Apple, found a roommate, and bought a one-way ticket to NYC all in just about 24 hours. I was excited and ready to go. However, little did I realize how different my plans would turn out to be.

I spent just about every single day over the first couple weeks personally delivering resumes and locating resources that could help me in my journey to landing a journalism job. I had no luck, so I decided that what I could do in the mean time was take a part-time job to help pay my rent. I received an offer to work as a sales associate at the Hershey's store in Time Square for 10 dollars an hour and took the job. This turned out to be a bad idea since all I was doing was nothing but working and coming home to sleep. I was so tired I wasn't focusing anymore on the real reason I came out to NY. In the best of my interests I decided to leave the job... funny how deja-vous works... I came back to square one, AGAIN.

Third cycle around, I got back on track, looking for that real entry-level career spot I came to find. Like many people suggested, I made a few call backs to previous positions I had already applied for to check where in the process my applications might be. Also, to empahsize of my active interest in the position. I got nothing. Then one afternoon, I remembered about a former open reporting spot MCTV, a local station for Maricopa Community Colleges in Arizona, had. I looked on their website and reapplied. To sum things up, I received a call from the director, who was delighted about having me join the crew. Only down part to this reporting position was that it was starting at only 15 hours of work per week.

Since that moment I have found myself undecisive and under severe amounts of stress as to whether I should take this spot or wait for something else to come. I've concluded that overall it doesn't matter if I take it or not. There are equal amounts of weights on each side of the scale: If I don't, it would be fine because sooner or later I would be bound to have something else turn out. The only question would be: When? If I were to take this offer, it would be marvelous because I would finally be starting to work in on-air reporting. The down part to this: It would only be 15 hours per week, not enough working time!! (Plus the drag of moving back home and being maintained by the family when I should be capable of doing so myself.)

I realized that though decisions such as these really might not make a difference in the long end, they can be so effective in the shorter one, which makes it extremely difficult to decide on. After much praying and more praying to my Heavenly Father who knows everything, I drew my decision on making my way back home and taking this small, but amazing job offer with great dignity.

It's the attitude and dedication we put forth which will bring us blessings in future moments to come.